ANother arrogant creature imprissoned for my amusement
Cant wait to pluck the shit out of this & boil it in mine pot
bro this rends flesh (new way of saying something is really good)
(via liminalspacetext)
when pressed for comment on the matter the senator humbly asked for the American people to stare long and hard into the eye of his ruby amulet
(via jame7t)
[Standing up out of barbers chair right before he’s done combing out my hair one last time] Omg. I’ve always wanted to be ugly as shit.
(via swarnpert)
i dont smoke cigarettes but they should let me have a smoke break where i burn stuff behind the restaurant
i want my food ONLY prepared by this man









